January 2011
50 posts
Things I've thought about today:
Why am I insulted every time spellcheck flags my last name as being spelled wrong?
Why do people look so weird when you flip a photo of them horizontally? What if we all looked like the horizontally flipped version? Would the ugly people be pretty and the pretty people be ugly?
Why was there a lady standing in my elevator with a floor lamp and a plant and a box of magazines? Why did she not...
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Recap THIS: Silver Foxes (Foxi): A List →
recapthis:
The original (for me) silver fox: Mark Harmon. I admit to watching NCIS. He can try to hide that foxiness with that ridiculous haircut but IT WILL NOT WORK. He’s been a silver fox in my book since the great SUMMER SCHOOL (and, honestly, the tearjerker Stealing Home.)
John Slattery. I’ve been a…
ONLY REBLOGGING THIS FOR AN EXCUSE TO POST THIS LINK:
...
1.29.11 Live Stream
My “mildly dissatisfied w/ life” has turned into “tragically depressed” within the past 10 hrs. Specifically, after my 2nd beer last night. For no reason really. My internal light switch just flicked down. Except that during this shift I realized I could never live a life happy to hoolahoop and then I realized I can’t hoolahoop and everyone else can and then I flashed...
The cutest porn I've ever seen! (I love her.) →
(I am terrified at the thought of meeting a parrot... →
WatchThis has been going on for the past 10 minutes.
Someone’s watching me get dressed and won’t stop pouting. I just wasted 5 minutes trying to explain to her that I have to go to acting class so I can get better so that an agency will sign me so that I can go on auditions so that I can book a job so that I can buy her fancy c-grade dog foods and theme sweaters.
I can’t stand it.
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I’m going to need someone to build me one of these, but of Jordan Hare. I already know where I will keep it. Build it and then GIMME. Thanks.
I’m going to need three of these and something to make them not get any bigger. Thanks.
WatchTurns out pandas sound like party horns.
Guess what size my free birthday drink’s going to be!
Oh, don’t mind me, just taking a giant piss.
Last night I met a woman with a third nipple. Naturally I asked her if I could have a look, but it was nothing like the Friends episode I thought it would be.
He's supposed to look like this:
Homeboyslice Abe
I created:
Davy Crocket
Also, my roots look like grey hairs.
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OKAY.
I have been Tumblr spammed, and I AM CALLING YOU OUT ASSHAIR.
I saw that this person is now following me:
So, naturally I clicked to see who they are/what they’re about/what’s up. This is what I was directed to:
This is not something I appreciate, “Ashley Brooks”. I don’t give a tiny polka dotted tinker’s damn about your album and I sure as diddly doubt...
This is a grown man, approximately 6’2”. He is bald, is wearing overalls and has full facial sideburns down to his chin. Side burns that are thicker in the middle than on either ends-similar to a rubber gag chicken. He was walking a black poodle. Oh, and that’s his BABY. SOMEONE AGREED TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM.
I’m 38% done with this book and so far so good.
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It's been 4 years.
This guy’s probably the greatest dad there ever was:
I’m overwhelmed and surprised by the amount of Facebook comments, messages, e-mails and texts I’ve received so far today. It’s hard not to smile when you know you’re surrounded by awesome people. So, thanks, awesome people! You’ve helped make a really hard day a little bit easier. :)
Look at all of the snow I am missing!
I could have made a big bottomed snowman!
I wish life was (were?) less threatening.
If you don't smoke like me,
but woke up from a weekend of hating life and a particularly crippling panic attack and you’re hungry and out of toilet paper so you dress like a 7th-grade-gym-class clad homeless person and shuffle to the corner 711 to settle on a brick of sharp cheddar cheese and 1/2 a croissant and then you get a super big gulp diet coke and then remove your ear plugs (b/c the world is so extra noisy...
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The BCS National Championship game is less than 2...
and I keep thinking about how much my dad would have loved this season. I wish it had happened during his lifetime.
Over the holidays, I decorated his grave with orange and blue flowers:
The game’s one day before the 4th anniversary of his death.
I know he’ll be watching from somewhere—he’s going to have the best seat in the house.
Look what I got for throwing my friend's birthday...
It’s peanut butter and it’s chocolate! It’s cheanut butter!
Awww! He was on a date with me!
(If you tumble about something that in any way mentions me in a flattering light, I will showboat.)
Also, I agree with the “Oh my God, I actually really enjoyed it, too!” part. I did actually really enjoy it.
You should follow my friend http://mystupidlittlelife.tumblr.com/ for more insightful movie tidbits.
“What she had realized was that love was that moment when your heart was about to burst.” -Lisbeth Salander.
This is all the love I need.
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In case anyone cares,
one of my most favorite things to do ever is to retire a lighter. (I collect lighters.) I just this second got to retire this lighter:
It was a gift from my roommate on her return from Hawaii. SHE GOT ME TWO LIGHTERS IN HAWAII—I am about to begin on lighter #2.
I say all of this because:
I wanted to share my excitement with someone.
If you ever find yourself on a trip/my...
Maybe you should carry your dog up the stairs, asshole.
The chinese restaurant gave me my beverage in a plastic container. From now on I only want to drink diet coke from these containers.
Peen roll.